4 Principles for Creating Family Ministry Opportunities

It cannot be stated enough how important the family is to the spiritual growth of our students. In the past, there was an expectation that the church was solely responsible for the spiritual training of children and students. Over time, we have realized that this was a mistake.

Deuteronomy 6 gives us a clear understanding of the family’s role in discipleship. Verses 4–9 remind us:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4–9, CSB)

With only one to three hours out of 168 each week, it is clear that the family has a far greater impact on students. They live together, eat together, travel together, and face the ups and downs of life together. While student pastors play an important role, we are not their parents or their families. That means we must pour into families and give them opportunities to grow together in their walk with Christ and in their service to the church.

Here are four practical ideas for promoting not just family time, but family ministry time:

1. Get them serving together

Look for opportunities for students and parents to serve side by side. It could be as simple as volunteering at a soup kitchen or as involved as a family mission trip. Shared challenges form strong bonds, and our families need those opportunities too. Plan service and ministry days with families in mind.

2. Get them playing together

My wife is a licensed professional counselor and play therapist, and one thing I’ve learned from her is this: play is a natural part of a child’s language. As we grow older, we often lose that rhythm of communication. Play helps close the gap between parents and children. Whether it’s a Nerf battle or a water balloon war, families need space to laugh and enjoy each other. Life at home can be serious—let’s give them a chance to play.

3. Get them talking together

At our house, our kids never had a chance to escape conversation—I’m a youth pastor and my wife is a therapist. We talk about everything. But not every family communicates that way. In fact, many families struggle to talk openly. Consider offering a family class for a season, where small groups consist of parents and kids together. Provide good questions and fun activities—maybe building a city out of popsicle sticks or creating a family crest. Families need intentional opportunities to talk and connect.

4. Get them discussing God’s Word together

This step goes deeper than casual conversation—it’s about engaging Scripture together. Try sending parents follow-up questions from the Sunday message. These can be used in the car, at the dinner table, or during a family walk. Questions can be theological or as simple as unpacking the pastor’s illustration. The goal is to spark conversations about God’s Word at home.

If we want to see students grow in a faith that lasts a lifetime, we must invest in more than just the student who shows up at youth group each week. Each student is part of a family system. By impacting the family, our reach and influence can extend much further.

Dan Carson is the Executive Director of Student Ministry Matters, a ministry dedicated to encouraging and equipping student pastors through coaching, resources, and community. He also hosts the Student Ministry Matters Podcast, where he shares conversations that inspire and support ministry leaders.

Student Ministry Matters is a proud partner of Shaping Student Ministry, working together to help leaders and families disciple the next generation with clarity and purpose.