New Church, New Season: How Youth Pastors Can Start with Wisdom

Imagine this scenario: You’re starting as the student pastor at a new church. You’re excited, but also nervous, and looking forward to getting started. You also know there will be some challenges ahead. Maybe you’ve been in some of these situations…

• The senior pastor’s teenage son/daughter is in the youth group, and had a close relationship to the previous student pastor.

• You find out the former youth pastor will be staying on at the church as member.

• Some of the key volunteers have used the same curriculum for years, and are in no rush to change it.

While none of these possibilities are inherently bad, they can be difficult to navigate. Transitions in ministry are challenging; for the new youth pastor and for the church. None of these situations are obstacles to break through, but rather opportunities to grow as a leader. You cannot be in a rush to “fix the problem”. Instead, start slow; build relationships and build trust. Lead well by having the mentality you’ll be here as long as God keeps you there.  How can you make sure you help with that transition, rather than harm it? Let’s look at some ideas together…

It’s Not About You

You may have experienced a transition like the one I mentioned earlier. The truth is, your mentality going into a situation like this can have a huge impact on your first few months getting to know the students, their families, and the rest of the church. That initial season is a precious and important time as people get to know you; and you, them. Sometimes we can become so focused on casting “our vision” for the student ministry, that we forget why we’re there. God has called you to shepherd His flock. You are there to minister to people.

Not to build your own platform. Not to grow your group, so you can move onto “bigger and better” things. Not to collect a paycheck.

You’re not even there because the search committee and the church voted “yes”. You are there to serve because God has allowed you to do so. With these early days being so important, where should your attention be?

Lean into God and Lean into People

In a new church, there are no shortage of things to do. Arrange your office. Get your keys. Figure out your new email, wi-fi, and church database systems. Knowing the janitor’s phone number for when one of your students makes a hole in the wall!

You can easily feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions, with no time to breathe. My friend, you must make time to be with the Father. There is literally nothing more important in the life of a minister than spending time with God each day in prayer, Bible study, and worship. Keep in mind that reading your Bible as you prepare for your lesson is not a substitute for this.

Find a network of other youth pastors who can meet with you, whether that’s online or in person. Discuss ideas and challenges together. Ask them to pray for you. This will be incredibly helpful for you, and for them. The people I’ve known who have stayed in ministry the longest, are the people who know you can’t do ministry alone.

Allow people in your new church the opportunity to get to know you, and let them bless you. They may ask what you need, or offer to bring by a meal. Don’t say “No, we’re fine, but thank you.” You’ve closed yourself off to an opportunity to know them and make a connection. Instead say, “That is so kind of you! I really appreciate it! When works best for you?” It shows people that you’re open, and that you want to build a relationship with them.

Ask for help, even if you don’t feel like you need it. When you allow people the chance to bless you; even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s a blessing to them. Gary Chapman spoke of letting others help you in his book, The Five Love Languages, “… you are affirming his of her worth and abilities. You are in essence indicating that she has something or can do something meaningful and worthwhile to you”. While Chapman wrote this in the context of marriage between spouses, the principle is true in all of our relationships. When we choose to accept help, and even ask for it, it invites people into our lives and helps build the foundation for strong relationships.

Realities of a New Church

As you begin at a new church, there are some hard truths that are universal in ministry. They’re not unique to your situation, so don’t think it’s just you! Here are a few…

People are going to make comparisons. Hopefully these comparisons aren’t said to you, directly. Although that may happen too, so get ready! Whatever the spirit or intent is behind those comparisons, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to be more like the previous leader. You are not them. You are who God made you to be; the only one like you, in fact! That doesn’t mean you don’t let God refine you or change as a leader, it just means you don’t have to lose sleep trying to become someone God never asked you to be.

Not everyone is going to like you. This is a hard pill to swallow; especially if you’re a people pleaser (like me). But the sooner you realize it, the easier it will be to handle criticism and mature in your role as a minister. Pastor and author, Leonard Ravenhill, once said “A preacher should have the mind of a scholar, the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros. His biggest problem is how to toughen his hide without hardening his heart.” In ministry, you must build a thick skin and a soft heart. Not only will this help you lead with greater wisdom, but it will help you stay in ministry for the long haul. We are called to be shepherds to our flocks. One of the toughest challenges of being a shepherd is that sometimes the sheep bite! But that shouldn’t change the fact that we continue to love them, serve them, and pray for them.

You will need to learn a new culture. Every church has its own culture; its own history. The sooner you learn about this culture, the better off you’ll be. Note that I said learn about it; that doesn’t mean you need to adopt it. Talk to the people who have been there the longest; ask them what they most remember about their church home; its highs and lows. Asking questions and showing an interest, also shows them you care. But you’ll also be keeping yourself from a painful lesson. You don’t want to repeat the mistakes of past leadership that the church may still be recovering from.

Joys of a New Church

While there are challenges that come with being at a new church, there are also some blessings to enjoy as well! Here are some worth considering…

You have the opportunity for a fresh start. No matter your experience at your previous church, you have the chance to start fresh. Yes, you may have “scars” from previous ministry assignments, but those hurts don’t have to be a part of this next season. I’m reminded of Yoda’s words to Luke Skywalker, before he entered a cave that was strong in the dark side of the force. When Luke asked what was in there, Yoda replied, “Only what you take with you.” In the same way, there are troubles that seem to follow us from church to church; troubles that may stem from unresolved hurt in our own hearts. Don’t let what happened before spoil what God is doing now.  

You have a new family to love. I remember at my first church, I was a single guy living on my own; hours from my family. Naturally, I missed them. But the sting of isolation lessened as I came to know my church family. These were people who genuinely cared about me, helped me, and took an interest in my life. Over the years, I felt like I gained another family; one full of brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents in Christ. It made it easy as I visited them in the hospital, helped them with yardwork alongside our students, and comforted them in times of grief. We have an incredible gift as pastors to love and be loved by some wonderful Christian people. Individuals that even after we move on, will reach out and check on us. You don’t know how long God may have you serve at your current church, but in that season, love your church family well.

One of my favorite parts of being a pastor is getting to know the people in my congregation. Sure, it’s nice to say hello during a Sunday morning worship service, but I much prefer having them over at our house for a cookout, or getting coffee together. Intentionally invite them into your home and your life. Make sure they’re able to see you not only as a pastor, but as a friend. Don’t be afraid to share your own struggles as well, to an extent. This reminds people that ministers are people too, often with similar problems. Having these conversations may encourage them to open up as well.

You have a new community to explore. This is one of my favorite parts of moving to a new city; finding a new coffee shop and a new favorite restaurant. Don’t stay shut up in your new office or just your home, go out and explore! Meet the locals, ask them their favorite hole in the wall place. This is a community you plan to serve for years to come; get to know it! You’ll definitely have church members talk about the area, so try to become acclimated as soon as possible. Go the park and take a walk. Find a gym to work out. The more you do these things, the sooner your new community will feel like home.

Enjoy This Season

As I wrote in a previous article, when it comes to our calling at a church, we’re all temporary. You won’t be there forever, so make the most of the time and the people God has given you. Until God calls you somewhere else, love and serve His people like it’s the last place you’ll ever be. God will honor your faithfulness and obedience.

Questions to Consider:

• Are you more focused on proving yourself in a new church, or patiently getting to know the people God has called you to shepherd?

• What relationships do you need to prioritize in this first season so trust can be built before major changes are made?

• Are there any hurts, frustrations, or insecurities from a previous ministry season that you may be carrying into this new one?

• How can you learn the culture and history of your new church before assuming you know what needs to change?

• What would it look like for you to love and serve this church like it is the last place God will ever call you?